Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win
by Leelei
Summary: [Finished] JxA, Herb POV. “Every day is the worst day of my life. People generally lead content lives with only interruptions of being upset, but…I have always lived my life being upset with only few exceptions of feeling happy.”
1. Chapter 1

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko

Author's Note: Basically, I tried to capture a high-school aged Herb falling in love with Aelita until the point where he becomes maniacal. Maybe a little out of character, but I like to think that, in this fic, the time that has passed has really changed the characters in many different ways.

Okay, that was the _old_ Author's Note…Hey guys- sorry it's been so long since I've posted. Originally, I had written this story over a three or four day period about a month ago and planned to put it up during Spring break, but I have to admit that I had gotten caught up in life. I missed out on all of this writing and coming up with plots that I love so much…it feels like I have fallen from grace. I can't really justify this story; when I read it now, I can't really remember every single emotion I had intended. I really loved this, although now all I can say is that I hope you enjoy it (I know I'm trying to again).

* * *

**Chapter 1**

It's not fair. She's so beautiful. She's so sweet and caring, everyone knows and loves her. And she knows everyone in return, god she has a _million_ friends, but she never notices me. I would do anything for her, and yet sometimes I wonder if she even knows my name. It isn't fair. I love her.

_'Aelita,' _I write the scrolling cursive letters of her name in my notebook during class as I sit in the back of the room. She's in the front, next to Jeremie Belpois, her supposed boyfriend. I don't know what she sees in him. I'm a lot smarter, and at least a year older, than that geek. But she's always near him. Always next to him. They hold hands, kiss in the hallway, and I've never once seen them work in another pair besides each other during class. All that will change, though. All that is going to change…

"Okay, class, get together with your Science Olympiad teams and work for the remainder of the period on your projects," the teacher announced. I feel a grin come to my features as she pulls out a list from her desk. "I'll read off the groups again."

The Science Olympiad is for the brightest students in each grade at Kadic High. Only the top honors classes are able to compete in the country-wide competition of chemicals, procedures, labs, and complicated math and formulas. This year, I'm finally a freshman, and I'll be competing with the top students in France for all the scholarship money I can dream of. Well…_my class_ and I will be competing. But they can't do it without me!

The teacher reads through the names of all the students, dividing us into groups of four, "Paul, Romain, Tania, Thomas, biochemistry. Azra, Claire, Matthieu, and Jeremie, you'll be working on astronomy. Heidi, Herb, Aelita, and Julien, I'll have you work on biology today. And everyone else will be the last group, physics." A groan came from the students not named as everyone stood and shuffled their desks around to sit in their groups. I stayed at my own, smiling, knowing and waiting for what would happen. Aelita would come over…we would work together with _no_ Jeremie…then she would get to know the real me, and I would _finally _have her as my own.

Now that we are all in high school, we were able to take placement tests into honors classes. Sissi and Nicholas didn't make it in, and I know for a fact that Ulrich definitely didn't pass to be in our upper level science course this year, and that Odd kid stayed in the regular class with him. So now it's just me, Aelita, and…Jeremie.

What's he doing up at the desk with her? I swear, if he thinks that he's going to sweet talk the teacher into switching groups to be with Aelita, then he's pathetic. This is a major competition! The teacher isn't going to bend over backwards to put him with her…

…But wait, she's taken out her list again. She's checking it over…She's moved over to the computer in the corner of the room and logged on to her own account on the school network. After a few moments of checking through some documents, I hear the printer and she pulls out a new slip of paper and stands up, posting it on the wall for the class to view.

"All right class, there's been a mistake," she announces and everyone looks to her. "Claire, I was supposed to have _you_ in the biology group, and Aelita you were right, you _should_ be in Jeremie's group working on astronomy. I'm very sorry for the mix-up. Please continue."

I can feel my jaw nearly hit my desk. What the hell just happened? She said at the beginning of the week that no changes were going to be made in the groups! How…how did that little bastard slip under her and do that?

But worst of all…how did he take Aelita away from me again? I watch as they smile at each other and she giggles. He pulls over a desk for her near his group and they sit down, her pulling out a text book and starting to read to the other three from it to discuss their portion of the project. I grip my pencil tightly in my hand. What…happened…

"Excuse me," someone calls to me with an attitude. "Are you coming over here or what, Herb?"

I turn to the catty new girl from my group and glare. "Just wait a second, okay?" I snap as I keep my staring even. She rolls her eyes and turns around, facing the rest of my group on the other side of the room. I slowly put my notebook in my backpack and pick it up.

As I stand up, I take my time walking over to the small cluster of desks. I realize that they haven't pulled one up for me, and I take a detour to the upper corner of the room to retrieve a chair. As I walk more directly, I soon notice that I'm going to pass by Aelita. Oh, how I feel an urge to just grab a hold of her and jerk her over towards me. But instead, all I can focus on was that beautiful, bright pink hair of hers, and that pale, perfect skin…

She had taken her sweater off during class, and her short hair has left her neck and the very top of her back open to the air. Then I just wanted…I just wanted…

Before I know what I'm doing, I feverishly switch hands with my bag and quicken my pace. As I near their group, I walk closer and closer to their chairs until…

I lift my hand and brush it so gently over the back of her neck, my fingers gliding over her skin and just missing the touch of her lovely hair. She immediately stops reading and whirls around in her seat to look at me.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I mumble, passing it off as an accident as I point to the chairs. "Just getting a chair."

She smiles, always being so forgiving she almost appears naïve, and returns to her reading position. But Jeremie, on the other hand, I can see him glare at me from the corner of his eye, just behind those thick glasses of his. He didn't startle or turn when I touched her, but I can feel that he knows what I've done. He hates me because of my love for her, and I know he'll try anything to keep me from having her. I don't care. He should know by now.

I finally find a chair and lug it back over to my group. As I sit down, the girl from before sighs loudly in disgust at seeing that I've parked myself right next to her. "About time," I can hear her mutter, but I shrug it off.

Looking back to Aelita, I gaze at her again. Seeing her skin from my distant position, I grin at the thought of my accomplishment. I had touched her…and she didn't seem to mind.

See Jeremie? She's not completely yours.

* * *

Chapter 2 coming shortly. Please leave a review. : ) 


	2. Chapter 2

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko.

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. Here's chapter two…I can only hope the formatting holds up.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

I always keep a notebook to myself. No one will ever notice it- not when it has the same cover as all the rest of the subjects I keep notebooks for. It'll never look suspicious either, so I can write anything I want in it. But then again, no one ever goes into my stuff… Anyway, I'm not calling it a journal, or a diary, or anything stupid like that. It's just mine, okay?

In this notebook is where I write all of my thoughts about her. I write her name, think of words that describe her, make up poems of how I feel for her. My favorite thing to do lately is make up acronyms with her name. This is the latest one:

A is for Apple, for the color of the blush in your cheeks

E is for the Earth, because you're its queen

L is for love, because that's what I feel for you

I is for the Internet, because I would buy it all for you

T is for trust, because you could always be sure that I will love you

A is for anything you want, because I'll always be there for you.

It's horrible I know…they all are. It just helps me to be able to express my feelings for her, but then I always stumble to think of a word to describe her for the letters and think of something corny. It's just relief that's all…because I don't know if I will ever be able to say anything to her face.

I'm still pissed off about what Jeremie did. But…how? How _did_ he do it? Was there really a mistake, or could he have fixed something along the way? I think for a second, pulling out my notebook as I sit in my dorm room, alone. I flop down on my bed and take a pen from my front shirt pocket, clicking it and drawing random shapes on a clean page as I ponder.

Let's see…Jeremie's last name is Belpois, which is at the beginning of the alphabet, and Aelita's last name is della Robbia, like that Odd kid. I think she's his cousin, if I can remember his introduction of her correctly a couple years ago back at Kadic Jr. High. It would figure, him with the wild purple dye in his hair and Aelita walking in with that bright pink color; they must be from the same family tree.

But anyway…would the teacher consider her a 'D' or an 'R?' Basic grammar would consider her an 'R,' so how could the grouping put two surname letters together like that combination if it was going alphabetically?

But now I remember some of the other last names of the kids in groups. They were all random…so I guess it was just luck of the draw. Still, though, the teacher specifically said no exceptions when she announced the Science Olympiad groups at the beginning of the week. So how did he do it? I'll just have to find out for myself.

I've gone too long without her.

"Herb! Herb, are you in there? Come on, hurry up!"

Ugh, that screeching voice… How is it that the girl I once had a crush on now won't leave _me_ alone?

"_Herb!_"

"Sissi, I'm coming!" I shout back, slamming my notebook shut and hiding it under my bed. Jeez…out of all the friends she thinks she's made here at high school, you think she'd leave me alone.

I open the door and she's standing with her arms folded and tapping her foot. "Are you trying to make us late? Herb, you know you should be lucky I'm even still talking to you now that everything has changed here."

_'Of course you still talk to me, _Princess_,' _I mutter sarcastically in my thoughts. _'Who else will do your homework, you hair-brained twit? Not the jocks and preps you hang out with now…'_

"So? Are you still coming or what?" she asks, seemingly annoyed.

"Yes," I reply, trying my best to stay humble. Hey, I still have to admit, even if I've grown to dislike her, she _is_ talking to me. Not many people think of doing that anymore.

"Then let's go." She turns and starts walking away, expecting me to follow behind her as I always did before. Well, have always _done_…

"Is Nicholas coming?" I ask, him being the only other person in the school I would think of hanging out with besides her.

She sighs and adds, "No," agitatedly. "He gave me some bull shit about 'practice.' Like he's really going to make it in that band with Odd and those losers…"

_Those_ losers? So, has she really given up her crush on Ulrich after all this time?

"But…Ulrich might be there, so we'll stop there, too. Although first I have to get my nails done, then go tanning, then meet up with my friend, then…" she goes on and on as we walk.

I stuff my hands in my pockets as I keep trudging along after her. A lot has changed after these couple of years…but my heart has made up its mind now.

* * *

Chapter 3 coming soon. 


	3. Chapter 3

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko.

Author's Note: Thank you for your wonderful reviews. I am so sorry, there is nothing else I can say. In all honesty, I have left the fandom but, trust me, I am fighting like hell to get back in…until then, I promise to do my best to finish posting this story for you guys. And, if you are reading right now, I would be absolutely honored if you posted this fic on your website, Star Way. : ) Thank you.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"I'm going to be in the Science Olympiad this year," I state as I sit at a table next to Sissi and her friend. They had paused from their gossiping and I used the silence to speak up.

"Oh, really?" Sissi replies smartly, flipping her hair over her shoulder with a roll of her eyes. Her friend tries to stifle her laughter and fails.

I really hate what Sissi has become. She's a freshman now, too, but Daddy doesn't exactly run the school anymore. Sure, Principal Delmas is now the new superintendent of the Kadic school system, but he's still in charge back at our Junior High. Now we have a principal and an assistant principal at our new boarding school, and no one can win them over.

But as for Sissi herself…other than the color of her now shorter hair, she seems like a completely different person. Well, she still keeps up with fashion and being evil at getting her way, but she just seems…different. She's ignorant, self-absorbed, and fickle. I never saw her with those traits before but now…it's just apparent. She's a damn prep. Not that I have anything against the popular girls here (except the fact that they refuse to admit my existence), but she's just that kind of stereotype now.

Me? I've just always remained myself. Same hair, same body type, same person. I grew out of my sweater, though, so my mom sent me new shirts to wear with a great new pocket protector to hold my pens. You know, people really underestimate those things. Just because I don't want to keep my pen in my pants pocket and have it fall out when I sit down, or loose it in my book bag doesn't mean that the other kids should make fun of me. They used to leave me alone back in Junior High when Sissi was always around me, but now I know that she joins in when she thinks I can't hear her.

I probably should get contacts, but at least my acne is starting to clear up. My parents bought me an expensive system to use that's been working really well lately. I still have pimples, but they're not all over, or are as many. I thought that would help Sissi accept me again, but she has officially disowned me. That's okay, though, because I have another girl in my life now…

We get up to leave and I have to follow behind Sissi and her friend. Not because I want to, but now they've met up with two big football players from our school whom they would much rather be seen with. After a while, I simply walk away from them. I got tired of stopping every five feet and listening to their moronic conversation anyway. She doesn't even notice I'm leaving.

I make my way from the mall back to the high school. The new boarding school is still located in Paris, but we're further away from the Junior High now. When I get back to the grounds, I head straight to the band room where I know that Odd kid is allowed to hold practice for his group.

And to think, a band with a stupid name like "Pop Rock Progressives" is still playing together after this long.

They're just finishing up as I walk in. It seems like they're sounding a little more rock now with Ulrich on a regular keyboard instead of an enhanced electric one, and of course without Jim. They're probably trying to imitate that 'Emo' crap that comes over from the United States. Don't they know that there's no good music besides the classical genre?

They've all said they're good-byes for the night and the Odd kid takes off in a hurry to meet his girlfriend, I think her name is Sam. Ulrich and Yumi leave hand-in-hand, since everyone knows that they've been dating for a long time now, and Nicholas stays behind to practice a little more on his drums. It's amazing to see how his friendship has grown with them since what it was when he hung out with just our old group. He's not exactly in their 'gang,' but he's a hell of a lot closer than Sissi and I will ever be.

"Nicholas," I call as I jog up to him.

"Hey," he remarks plainly. He knows we've grown apart.

"I need to ask you something," I say and he stops playing his drums.

"What," he replies more than asks.

"How close of friends are you with Jeremie?"

"Belpois?"

"Yeah. I mean, you've been in a band with his best friends for a couple of years now. Have you been hanging out with him, too?"

"Well, not really. I mean, he listens to a lot of the same music now that the other's have gotten him into it, but Aelita really likes to sing more classical stuff, so he'll go to one of her concerts or choir practices over our rehearsal any day," he explains. "Why?"

"Eh, uh…no reason," I fumble my words, as usual. "It's just…He's in my science class and…I wanted to ask him about the homework."

Nicholas snickers and shrugs a shoulder. "Good luck finding him. He's off with Aelita tonight, like always."

I can feel my eyebrows almost fuse together. "I bet…"

"You need anything else?" He's obviously trying to get rid of me so he can keep practicing.

"No. Good-bye," I turn to leave with my hands shoved into my pockets.

"See ya around," he calls and starts drumming again. He's gotten really good now, but I'm too pissed to admit anything positive like that.

So I continue on my way through the school.

* * *

Chapter 4 coming shortly (for real this time!). 


	4. Chapter 4

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko.

Author's Note: Yes! Update, update! Thank you for the reviews.

* * *

**Chapter 4 **

Walking through the halls, it's easy to feel like a loser when you've done four laps around the entire dorm building without running into a single person you could even say 'hi' to and receive a friendly response from in return.

I don't absolutely have to do my homework just yet, and I have nowhere to go, so I continue my weekly routine of watching the other students hurry to get ready to meet their dates or race to their games. The only bad thing about this is the brevity of the silence. During the week it's usually quiet after school for people to do their homework, but with all the students getting ready right after school, and all the parties that come back after everyone's been out, I can only get in a few hours of peace and quiet. But that still leaves time to write and think.

Tonight, though, I'm on a mission. During my endless tour of the building I finally found where Jeremie's dorm is in the new building unlike our old rooms. I was surprised, though, to find out that Aelita's room was right next to his, even though I know I should have expected it. But still, the rooms and floors are strictly for one gender each. I asked someone I vaguely knew from one of my classes, and he said that there simply wasn't any other room on the campus for Aelita and, after a letter of consent from her parents, she was allowed to dorm in the only vacant room left next to Jeremie. How convenient. I wonder how he pulled that one off, too.

The student leaves the hall and I'm left in front of the door. So what do I do? Knock and as like a moron how he's always managed to be paired with his girlfriend ever since she was a new student back at Junior High? No. That was too weird of an action, even for someone as invisible as me.

Then I notice that I'm standing in front of Aelita's door. The feeling strains my blood for a moment as my skin heats and my palms start to sweat at the thought of being so near to her again, but then I realize that the lights are turned off and no one is inside. Thinking she's out somewhere with Jeremie, I'm about to leave when I hear a giggle from the next room.

Jeremie's dorm. Of course.

I raise my hand to knock on the other door, trying to think of something random to ask just for the chance to see my beloved girl, when I see that it's been left open a crack.

Well, duh, it's been left open. It's a rule here that a boy and a girl can't be alone in a room with the door shut, especially at night. It's past curfew now, even though it's hardly enforced on game nights, and I wonder how this peep hole barely wide enough for a mouse to get through could be considered 'open.'

But I don't want to tell. When I look in myself, I'm mesmerized immediately.

Aelita -my beautiful Aelita- is wearing one of Jeremie's white dress shirts she must have taken from his closet, since he has his own room again. She was probably cold after leaving her sweater in her locker back in the school (I _know_ I watch her too much, okay?), but didn't want to leave her _dear_ boyfriend for a second. I know how it is. I have an imagination.

She looks so radiant…twirling around like an innocent angel. I had no idea that Jeremie had grown so much over the past couple of years. He was just a bit taller than her now, and his sleeves just covered her hands and the shirt was a bit too large for her petite body. Jeremie hasn't grown much different in stature than when he was a pre-teen, but I know Aelita has always been very skinny.

I can see Jeremie now sitting on his bed, smiling as he watches her. She's laughing, having a great time just being with him, not needing to be out at a game or in a mall to enjoy their date. They were probably doing homework together, since I can just spot a pile of books on the floor pushed off to the side near the bed.

Then she moves over to him, still swaying her hips in her little dance, still smiling her beautiful grin. She puts her hands on his shoulders, her breasts just above his direct view, but he's smiling up at her in return. He puts his hands on her hips and pulls her closer to him.

I don't know if I should watch…My heart feels sick, but my eyes feel satisfied by the image. My brain…well, my brain is apparently taking a vacation right now.

Then she leans in to kiss him, her lips gently meeting his as her hands move to feel up through the blonde hair above his neck. His own hands continue up her back, pulling her even closer to him as they fall backwards onto the bed after their kiss gains momentum. They laugh, and I strain myself to see more.

She's laying down on her back now, my beautiful angel, and there Jeremie lays next to her, his head propped up in his hand by leaning on an elbow. She looks into his eyes as they talk and laugh together.

Then he moves his hand to tickle her, her navel exposed as her undershirt lifted a little when she laid down. She giggles again, scrunching up and gently taking a hold of his hand through the long sleeves of the shirt.

I've never seen her so perfect before.

I keep watching as they pause, just gazing into each others eyes before Jeremie leans down and kisses her again. Now I know I'm sick.

Their kiss deepens and he gently puts a hand on her neck, holding her to him. She seems so eager, so willing, I fear that I'm going to die watching her happiness.

Then suddenly…he's on top of her. I don't know when it happened, but he moved and now he's over her, breaking his kiss and playing with a strand of her hair as she looks up into his eyes again. She says something, my angel, and giggles again at his response. He seemed pleased at her gesture, since he's kissing her again.

I can't watch anymore. My heart feels inflamed, my eyes are well beyond gorged, and my brain has finally returned to snap me back into the reality of the image I'm watching. My eyebrows have nearly touched my hairline as I see Jeremie's hand suddenly drops out of view. Now I know what I'm seeing.

I'm so startled that when I move to leave, I actually pull the door shut. Did they notice? Will they come out and find me? How do I know?

I fucking ran.

* * *

Chapter 5 coming soon. 


	5. Chapter 5

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko.

Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews. On we go!

* * *

**Chapter 5**

I returned to my dorm as quickly as I could and locked the door behind me, a great accommodation I've been blessed with now that I'm in high school. I didn't know what to do for a while. I was hurt, of course, to see my love with another guy, but what was I going to do? It's morning now, and I still haven't thought of a logical response to what I've seen.

After showering and dressing, I head down to breakfast in the new cafeteria. It's huge now, unlike Kadic Jr. High's, and I have plenty of opportunities to sit and think to myself.

Did he…did he have sex with her last night? There's no way…she's only fifteen years old. And he's fourteen! I'm sure they didn't…they couldn't have! I mean, this is Paris, but there are still morals at stake here. And to think, what if I had stayed and watched?

Well, I wouldn't be so curious now, would I?

My mind wanders off track as I bite into my breakfast sandwich. I still can't come up with a reason as to how he has her all the time in the first place. It's just too convenient. _Too_ perfectly convenient. Then I decide that I should confront him today. After school would be best, since he might become a little hostile with me. We were never on the best of terms, so why should I expect him to just willingly confess to any allegations I accuse him of face-to-face?

The bell rings long after I finish my meal. I had returned to drawing in my notebook. I was drawing stars, I have no idea why. Maybe I have wishes. Well, I always have wishes, but maybe now they're sticking out more than usual.

I can think of one that I want now more than ever.

I'm in my upper-level math class when the teacher announces that we're allowed to work with partners on a worksheet that we've been silently completing since the beginning of the period. Of course I've seated myself in the back, so I look up the row to see Jeremie and Aelita in the front of the room, sitting beside each other, shrugging as they both realize that they're already nearly finished. Then, for once, they actually opt not to work together.

The bell rings and the teacher assigns the rest of the worksheet for homework, suggesting to get together with our partners if we need to finish. I just stuff the paper into my bag and leave. I was further than almost all the other kids, and I always work alone.

But what if an opportunity just happens to come up? My other classes pass by without a problem, lunch is lonelier than ever, but then after the final bell rings in the afternoon, I'm graced with a miraculous dream come true. As I leave my last class and walk out into the schoolyard, I see my angel sitting on the bench so far away from me reading a book.

I can barely stand the way the sun shines down on her. She's absolutely heaven-sent. My mouth goes dry at just the thought of speaking to her, but I push myself on. _'This is the _perfect _opportunity,' _I think to myself. _'Don't you dare blow this off!' _

I wonder when my thoughts started to sound like Sissi… Mustering up all the courage I've ever had within my body, I approach her slowly.

"Uh…A-Aelita?" I stutter, a given fact that I would. I feel faint just at saying her name out loud.

"Yes?" she asks, lowering the book to her lap and looking up to me.

I want to melt. Instead, I manage to swallow hard and try to form another question. "Wh…Wh…Where's Jeremie?" is all I can say.

She smiles gracefully. "Oh, he must be held up again in his micro-technology class…it's a new science elective this year; he hopes it will look good on his college applications."

"Y-you didn't take it with him?" _Damn _it, I want to kick myself for that one…

She smiles even brighter. "No, Yumi suggested that I take choir. She really liked it, so I decided that it must be wonderful class."

"…You…you, uh, like to sing, huh?"

"Oh, yes. It's a lot of fun, and I enjoy it." She's so kind…no one has ever been this friendly to me yet in my high school career. "Is there anything you would like me to ask Jeremie for you?"

I immediately tense up. "Erm…no…no, thank you. I, uh, actually wanted to ask _you _something…If that's okay…"

She smiles again. "Really? Well, what is it?"

"I, uh, well…I…" The truth is, I'm a horrible liar. All I can do is cross my fingers that she's going to believe me on this…if my voice doesn't give out first. "I, uh…was having some trouble on the math homework. I was, um…hoping you would want to be my, uh, you know…partner…?"

Suddenly, her features change and she doesn't look as friendly anymore. She seems to be staring back at me, her lips held together instead of wide and smiling. "Well, I don't know about that, Herb," she says quietly. I want to die just at the fact that she knows my name. "I… really have to meet Jeremie as soon as he's done with his class. We, um, we already have plans for this afternoon. I'm sorry."

I can't tell if she's lying. Do angels lie? I'm sure she's going to spend her day with Jeremie, but did they really have specific plans already? Probably not. He's already breaking them for a class he didn't even have with her.

"Oh, well…that's okay. Bye." I quickly excuse myself and hurry away, holding my book bag tight as I try not to look back at her expression undoubtedly following me.

I still fume as I make it back to my dorm room, throwing my book bag down angrily and slamming the door shut. Of course she said no. Of. Course.

But really, would it have been so difficult to give me just a few minutes of her time as she waited for her lover-boy Jeremie to arrive? Couldn't she have helped me with just one or two problems? That would have been nice. That would have been kind. But no.

All she wanted to do was wait for Jeremie. Damn it, she spends every waking minute with him, and yet she can't spare a small portion of her time to sit down with me and explain something? What the hell is her problem?

I thought angels were perfect.

* * *

I think this was one of my favorite chapters….Next installment coming soon! 


	6. Chapter 6

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko.

Author's Note: **I am so sorry.** All of you waiting to read this story never deserved that long hiatus. I have to admit that I left the fandom over the summer, but now I'm starting to get back into it with Season 2. These past few months have been crazy…all I can tell you is don't get old by losing what you love- it just makes shit just complicated. But **thank you so much** for returning to this story with me. I hope you will enjoy it again, and I promise that you will see it finished soon.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

My rage died down that night and subsided by the next morning. I wait patiently now in English Honors, as I'm always one of the earliest to arrive in the class for first period every morning, and think of Aelita's reaction.

It turns out that I was angry for no reason. After a long night of contemplation, I realized that her answer shouldn't have surprised me. I was, after all, a part of Sissi's gang in Junior High, and was never exactly friends with Jeremie and his group. They must have steered her away from me since the very start. I couldn't expect any less.

The bell is about to ring to start Saturday classes. The other students file in as I also remember that this is the only subject that Ulrich tested marginally in, the administrators okaying it for him to join the honors class, Odd included. So joining the class now are Aelita, Jeremie, Ulrich, and Odd.

And together they are the quartet from hell.

Ulrich and Odd are as loud as ever, still best friends, knowing each other now as well as brothers. They're pretty diligent students, but they like to have their fun, with Jeremie and Aelita included over half the time. The former pair walk in just before the bell, idiotically chanting a cheerleading routine as they finally make it to their seats, the latter pair following behind in laughter. They all seem happy. Ulrich's soccer team must have one another game earlier in the week, but who cares.

Class starts on time, the teacher always having a full lesson plan, but everyone is surprised when she asks Jeremie to stand at his desk. The blonde student glances down at his girlfriend seated next to him as the teacher speaks, "Okay class, quiet down. Before we start, Jeremie has written a poem of his own that he would like to read out loud." She smiles to the said student. "Go ahead, Jeremie."

Jeremie seems to take a deep breath as he holds up a piece of notebook paper. "Okay, well, basically I wrote this for Aelita, and I hope it lets her know just how much she really means to me."

Aelita smiles as he clears his voice and continues. Even Ulrich and Odd are quiet and listening.

"A beautiful rose once grew in the garden of Heaven.

Everyone knew it was the most special of all.

Lovely and pure, it was cherished above all the others given, but

In time it took a terrible fall.

Today it has healed and now grows in all Earthly meadows,

A reminder to us of true beauty, casting its radiance even in our shadows."

Everyone starts clapping, Ulrich and Odd's cheers included, as Aelita stands up and promptly kisses Jeremie on the cheek. "That was wonderful, thank you!" she gushes as he turns a light shade of red.

The teacher smiles as she claps. "Jeremie, that was very charming. I'm proud of you to go on your own and write something even now after our poetry unit is complete."

"Well," Jeremie grins, seeming a bit shy about his work. "I was never so great at writing poems, but I thought this one was kind of okay."

"Hey man, that was great!" Odd raves. "You should write her a whole sonnet next time!" Jeremie grins as he holds his arm around Aelita's waist.

"Okay, students, it's time to get back to work. Thank you again, Jeremie," the teacher moves over to his desk as everyone sits again and gets out their materials to begin. "That was a nice break from our current studies. May I look at it to give you a few points of extra credit?"

"Sure," Jeremie replies and hands her his paper. "I'm glad you approve of it, ma'am."

The teacher smiles as she skims over it. "Oh!" she suddenly exclaims as the other students look to her to begin. "Class, the first letters of each line in Jeremie's poem spell out Aelita's name. How very clever! All right, now open your textbooks to where we left off yesterday and finish your silent reading. In exactly fifteen minutes, I want a one page summary of the entire selection. And make sure you identify at least one theme, motif, and poetic device used throughout the story."

Oh, there's no way. There's no way in hell. My rage twists and surges inside of me so badly, I want to pick up my desk and throw it across the room.

Is it possible for one person to experience so much anger, so much hate, so much pain all at once? How dare he. How _dare_ that little bastard and his fucking perfect life, taking away my only true love and rubbing it in my face!

So he writes poems with her name, too? Well, no matter how beautiful that creep can make his, mine are original. Mine are better. Hell, mine are the _best!_ How can she like anything but mine? Oh, she'll read them, and she'll _have_ to love them, because I'll be the only one for her _to_ love.

What the hell am I saying? Was I just thinking of hurting Jeremie? Calm down, Herb, that's totally irrational.

Yes, but the son of a bitch _deserves _it.

No, no he doesn't. Now shut up before you kill someone.

But I can't… I'm so frustrated by now, every time I look down to my English book with the old British stories translated into our common language, my eyes blur with tears. How does he do it? How. Does. He. Do. It? I can't read, I can't work, I can barely sit here…

"Ma'am!" I shoot up from my desk, my body now trembling with emotions. "Ma'am, I…I have to go to the restroom!"

"Herb, are you all right?" the teacher asks from her desk, looking up at me from grading her papers. All the other students have now turned while sitting in their own desks and are staring at me. I see Aelita and feel like I'm going to faint.

"Y-y-y…" I can't even respond.

"Maybe you should go to the nurse's office," the teacher suggests, noticing the paling of my skin. "Jeremie, would you please walk down there with him?"

"NO!" I can hear myself scream, but I don't feel like I'm there anymore. It's almost like I'm watching a dream through my own eyes as my body abruptly tips my desk over and races out of the room. Before I can gain control again, I run through the halls and end up in the boy's restroom, gathering myself after collapsing onto the floor and leaning back against the wall, tears starting to glide down my cheeks.

Hm…well, this must be a complete nervous breakdown.

Soon a counselor and a couple of security guards from the hall rush in to see me, my teacher also joining them. They cart me away to the school psychologist's office, and then it's days before I'm allowed to walk the halls again.

* * *

So now that Season 2 has pretty much ruined this story, I hope you guys will keep in mind that this was written back in March. New chapters coming soon, thanks for reading! 


	7. Chapter 7

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko.

Author's Note: Here's a short one, but I promise that the next one is long as hell. Please enjoy: )

* * *

**Chapter 7**

My breakdown was a horrible feeling, but it actually helped me find out that more kids knew of me than I thought. Well, they were starting _rumors_ about me…but at least they know who I am!

I'm finally allowed to go back to my classes now. I've lost track of the days since my breakdown… Damn, my mom was _worried _when she and Dad came to see me. But the school psychologist just reassured her that my stunt was a reaction from stress, since I had lied about my situation with Jeremie and Aelita and blamed my temporary insanity on an overload of work from school.

Now getting back to normal is going to be a little weird. Everyone looks at me differently, like they're expecting me to do something crazy again. On my first day back I see Jeremie whisper something to the teacher in English and now his, Aelita's, Odd's, and Ulrich's seats are no where near mine. But that's okay. I can still see my angel.

Of course she's still my angel -I have true love for her! I've filled my notebook with poems and writings about her, convinced that each and every one of them are ten times better than that crap Jeremie wrote. Bastard. I still can't believe he would read something that bad out loud and embarrass her like that! I'm sure she's just dying to get rid of him now.

My angel… 

It's about the end of the period and everyone is packing up their things to leave for their next class. I can see that Odd kid and Ulrich standing next to Jeremie and Aelita. Ulrich speaks up to his friends, and I can vaguely hear him, "Hey, why don't you guys come to the party tonight?"

"Ulrich, we aren't exactly on the soccer team," answers Jeremie.

"I know, but you're all cool with me. Come on, no one's going to care. All the other guys are bringing their girlfriends and other people, too," says Ulrich. "Sam's gonna be there, and Yumi's parents are letting her stay out late for it. _Everyone's_ going to show up."

"Is it going to be chaperoned?" Jeremie asks.

Odd snickers and answers for him, "No."

Aelita grins as she looks over to Jeremie. "Let's go! Parties are so much fun!"

Jeremie smiles at her happiness. "Okay. We'll be there. What time does it start?"

Ulrich goes on with the details as we all line up at the door to leave. I'm not supposed to be anywhere near them, but they haven't noticed that they've moved so close to me. Oh, well. Their mistake. _I'm _not moving.

But that party that they're talking about, it's starting pretty soon after school today. That means Jeremie and Aelita won't be in there rooms tonight and I can put my plan into action. Yes, I've finally come up with a full-proof plan that's _bound_ to make Aelita mine.

Wait, I don't sound like Sissi, do I? …Anyway, during my time off I came up with the idea to sneak into Jeremie's room and take something he desperately needs. Maybe his wallet, if he leaves it lying out, or his student ID, or maybe even that model of the solar system that he and Aelita built for the Science Olympiad that he brags so much about to our teacher. Yeah…I'll go get that stupid model of his. Then we'll see what happens when the rest of the class walks into the room with their projects all complete, and little Jeremie with nothing to show for, letting the entire grade down for our participation in the competition.

I know I'll be sacrificing my own share of the winnings, but knocking that creep down a peg or two is just so worth it. Then Aelita will _never_ want to be seen with a loser like him.

It's a perfect plan…I just have to wait for the perfect time to put it into action.

* * *

Chapter 7 will be out within the next few days! 


	8. Chapter 8

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko. This story was written before airing of Season 2 began.

Author's Note: Damn, I knew this was going to be long, but shit! I can't remember typing this much… Ah well, I promised an update so here it is. What a bitch!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

I wait around the corner of Jeremie and Aelita's hallway until finally Ulrich and Yumi arrive to leave for the party with them. Yumi is amazing; she's sixteen now and her looks have really matured. I can see she's wearing Ulrich's warm-up jersey, white with the blue lettering of the school on the front and with his last name and team number on the back. She wears a lot of his soccer jerseys and hooded sweatshirts with his surname on them, only laminating the fact that she's officially _his_ girl now.

Aelita looks so much better, though. In that soft, light blue halter top and those tight, dark denim capri pants (blue is the team color, so I'm sure everyone at the party will be wearing it), she looks like a model right out of the pages of a magazine. But she would look even better if she just let go of Jeremie's damn arm.

The laughing, happy group leaves and I finally can sneak around to the door. I go to Jeremie's first, not wanting to take anything from my dear Aelita's room. Once I've fumbled past the doorknob, I put my lock pick away and quickly enter, shutting it behind me as soon as I'm inside.

Wow. So this is it. How boring.

What's so great about this room? A bed, a closet, a dresser, and two desks; one for writing, and the other in front of the window with a large computer console on it. I can tell that it's still on and there's a blank screen saver on it, but I bypass it and walk over to the other desk instead.

On it there are a few pictures in simple frames next to the small lamp and a couple of textbooks. The first picture seems like it's from a photo booth or something, and is of him and Aelita, big surprise. The second is of Aelita and Yumi with their arms over each other's shoulders, both grinning. I can easily see why he keeps it out; they're _both_ really pretty. The last one is of him, Aelita, Ulrich, Odd, and Yumi all huddled together and smiling. It was obviously taken during our graduating class field trip after Junior High when we all went camping. Or, at least it _probably_ was. I didn't go.

I've finally found that damn model between the wall and in front of his bed. It looks heavy, and I don't know if I can carry this thing out without the other kids down the hall seeing me. I can attempt to lie if anyone asks and say that Jeremie wanted me to come get it for him, but everyone knows in this school what happened between him and me…that I freaked out at the mention of his name during class. No, lying won't work, but what the hell am I going to do now?

Going back over to his computer, I shake the mouse and flop down on his chair. I wish my parents would buy me my own computer for my room, or at least just a laptop. This kid has _both_…No, I am _not _jealous of him. He's just lucky, that's all. And besides, he's going to be losing Aelita soon anyway.

Well, now _this_ is interesting. All of his files and programs at my fingertips…so let's just see what he's got. I click through his subfolders and finally find something that has a lot of typed documents in it. So I click on one, and it immediately pops open into a Word program.

But what's this?

'_Dear Ms. Morzales, _

_Please allow Aelita della Robbia to work with Jeremie Belpois for this year's Science Olympiad. I have had them both in class before, and they are an exceptional pair when working together. I advise you to place them in the same group to assure yourself a spot in this year's competition. I have heard that the awards are excellent for this contest, and I would like to see you the best prepared for a chance to win them. _

_Sincerely, _

_Mrs. Suzanne Hertz _

_Science Dept. Chairwoman, Kadic Jr. High School'_

So this was how he did it! But I don't get it. Why would he have a copy of this? It doesn't look like he has a scanner around here. Then I notice the school district's letterhead was on the top of the page. And it wasn't a scanned one, but a digitally produced and imported image. This letter wasn't copied…it was _created_.

Or forged. I smack my forehead and curse myself for not thinking of that. I know he's a hacker, so of course he can whip up a letter and weasel his way in through the system; he's probably been doing it for years.

Curious to see just how many other times he's used this method, I open another document. A note to switch lunch periods so he could be with Aelita and his friends this year, how clever. I open another to see that he had fixed one of our classes to be with her again. Then another from her parents consenting her to dorm on the boys' floor with him, another from the principal excusing her from class to help Jeremie with a school project, and more random excuses dating all the way back to Junior High, just after she had arrived as a new student.

Then I come across the very last file. I quickly open it, eager to see what's inside, and I nearly faint at the image. It's…it's…

…It's her transcripts. These look scanned, since they were originally in handwriting, and I realize after looking carefully that they're in that Odd kid's style. He did pretty good, but anyone who has graded his papers in class as long as I have can notice it from anywhere.

But what the hell? Did Aelita _forge_ her way into boarding school? Maybe her parents couldn't afford the tuition and sending her to live in France. Maybe she _asked _Jeremie to do it for and that's how they've become so close. Whatever he's got going for her, no one will ever be able to trace any of it. These documents are completely encrypted. But nothing a genius like myself can't crack…

I find a floppy disk lying around and insert it into the hard drive. After deleting the documents already on it, I quickly get to de-hacking the files and compressing them. It takes a good amount of time, but I finally get them done and all onto the disk. The last one is taking a while to compress, since it was the scanned document, so my attention wanders. I return back to the other desk and start going through the drawers.

After opening the first one, however, I stop. On top of the books and papers within it is a large picture frame, just the right size to fit into the little area. I pull it out and realize that it's only half-way put together, and that the portrait is Aelita's school picture. I want to take it, yet I don't want to be too suspicious, but as I move to put it back a small strip of paper falls from it. I set the frame on the desk and pick up the paper and I'm startled to see what it is.

It's actually another small picture, cut out from one developed out of a simple 35 mm camera. But it's really weird…it's of that old factory back near Kadic Jr. High. I quickly flip the rest of the frame over and separate it to find a collage that Jeremie was really working on.

In the middle of the mat of the frame was a small paper with the rest of the poem he had wrote for Aelita, it was easy to see. But I couldn't tell if the first letters really spelt anything at all anymore:

'Loving you from the very first sight, my beautiful rose,

You never looked back for a second, trusting me with all your heart.

Our mission we did not lose,

Knowing you would not let us fall apart.

Of every path we have taken, I am fulfilled now to know that you truly love me, too.'

That doesn't even make _sense_…what mission? What path? And what does that factory have anything to do with this? The other clippings in the frame, I realize, are little sketches; a fan, a sword, and an arrow. Seriously though, what the _hell_ does all of this mean?

I shake my head. "Whatever…" I can't help myself from saying out loud. I put everything back in the drawer and return to the computer. The file has compressed, but to move it I need an access code.

"A _code?_" I voice out loud again. Then I try everything from Aelita's name, any combination of those letters, to anyone or anything that Jeremie might have a connection to. And now I'm stuck. So what's this secret code…

After a few more minutes I just shrug. Going back over to the drawer, I notice the first letters of each line in the poem and type them in order. "Lyoko?" I ask myself skeptically, but I end up hitting the enter key anyway. But much to my surprise…that wasn't any ordinary code.

"Welcome," a voice from the computer says. "No network connection found."

"No network? But this is hooked up to a T3 connection speed, how isn't it finding anything?"

I continue searching through this new program that has opened, but it's really kind of weird. It actually almost looks more like a game. I skim through the long documents and Aelita's name is mentioned several times. After a while of reading, though, I get a feeling of what really might be going on.

"PROGRAM- AELITA… No longer available on the network.

"PROGRAM- X.A.N.A…. No longer available on the network. Deleted 15/09/06. Files no longer available."

I click on Aelita's name but the voice returns. "No longer available on the network. Please replace files and try again."

Replace files? What?

"No longer available on the network. Please replace files and try again."

I try another route.

"Files missing from the database. Please restore with connections to the network and try again."

"But you told me that the network can't be connected!" I rage out loud to the computer. Whatever game this is that he programmed featuring his girlfriend, it should really make Jeremie cross off ever becoming a video game creator from his to do list in life. But just as I'm about to get my last document and leave, another click opens the best file of all.

"Retrieving temporary saved memory of X.A.N.A. program…Please wait." So I wait. I'm about to go again, but the information that pops up next makes my eyes bulge so wide I can barely look at the screen.

"X.A.N.A.," I read out loud to myself, "is an unsupported file from the Lyoko network that has gained access to nearly all functions within the virtual world. It is nearly impossible to destroy in itself, yet the only other inhabitant within Lyoko, Aelita, has agreed to help us try to stop it and its monsters before it reaches Earth through the electricity circuits again. I have not found the exact portal that X.A.N.A. uses to enter our universe, yet it still manages to control our electric current. Odd, Ulrich, and Yumi have all agreed to this project. They have been virtualized and fought without problems while Aelita stopped X.A.N.A. through the towers within Lyoko, and I found them with me after the return trip to the past, safe and sound. They have picked up on my personal want to materialize Aelita over the obvious need to, so they are still very willing to help us by any means to create a world without danger."

This…this is Jeremie's computer log for the game. But…is this _really_ a game? Slowly my mind processes everything I have found.

All of Aelita's documents have been forged…She already seemed to know Jeremie, Odd, Yumi, and Ulrich all very well when she arrived at Kadic Jr. High… I've never once seen or heard of her parents… and those weird pictures I just found…that weird poem…

The poem!

I jump back over to the desk and pull the paper out again, not bothering with the rest of the frame and pictures I have knocked onto the floor. "Loving you from the very first sight, my beautiful rose, You never looked back for a second, trusting me with all your heart. Our mission we did not lose, Knowing you would not let us fall apart. Of every path we have taken, I am fulfilled now to know that you truly love me, too," I read out loud again.

But what was the first part again? Digging through -and making a mess out of- Jeremie's textbooks on the other side of the desk, I find the paper of his poem the teacher returned to him the day of my breakdown and read it again. "A beautiful rose once grew in the garden of Heaven. Everyone knew it was the most special of all. Lovely and pure, it was cherished above all the others given, but In time it took a terrible fall. Today it has healed and now grows in all Earthly meadows, A reminder to us of true beauty, casting its radiance even in our shadows."

Then it hits me. Aelita is the rose that has taken the fall. She came from this place…this Lyoko, or whatever it is, and had to start a new life here. That's why everything has been created for her! That's why she knows those other four so well! And that was why she loves Jeremie. He brought her to this world. He…he probably saved her life…

But that doesn't matter now. This is perfect…this will change _everything!_ I quickly save all the files I have just read on the computer to the same disk and close out the program. One look over of this by the principal and Jeremie can kiss his enrollment here good-bye. Maybe the police would like a chance to see it, too. Not reporting a world-threatening virus could get him in a great deal of trouble. Or fixing it to look like he _made_ this X.A.N.A. thing could get him taken away from Aelita for sure! They would, after all, have no doubt by then that he's a genius at creation.

I almost can feel tears forming in my eyes. This is perfect…this is so damn_ perfect_…

I'm about to put the computer back into sleep mode to prevent suspicion when I hear a familiar voice from outside the window. It's open, so I peek my head out to find out who's talking below.

My heart skips a beat when I see from the second story room that it's Jeremie opening the door for Aelita to enter the dorm building, him following in behind her. I can just catch a second of what he's saying to her.

"…I'm so sorry I forgot, Aelita, but you know how cold it gets when I don't shut that window in my room…"

Shit. Oh, _shit!_ They're coming here! And, of course, I'm sticking my head out of the said window right now. Quickly I pull myself back into the room and yank the floppy disk from the computer drive. Not even bothering to clean up what I've wrecked in the room, I start running and make it out past the hallway corner just in time to sneak a look back to see Jeremie's and Aelita's startled expressions when they discover the door left wide open. I can also hear Jeremie's loud cursing when he realizes what has just happened inside of his room.

I catch my breath and bury the disk in my pocket before I turn the corner again and walk nonchalantly down the hall, hearing a small piece of their conversation as I go.

"Jeremie," Aelita sounds worried. "What did they take?"

"I'm not exactly sure," I can hear Jeremie reply. "But I think someone else besides all of us involved might know of Lyoko now…"

* * *

What a stretch…hope it was an easy read for you, more coming soon! Please review! ; ) 


	9. Chapter 9

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko. This story was written before airing of Season 2 began.

Author's Note: Ew, this is so short! Sorry this took so long to update…I knew Halloween would hold me up, but I didn't think it would take _this_ long! Anyway, here's chapter 9.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Jeremie seems pretty pissed now as he sits in homeroom. He has a cross look as he fidgets with the lead of his pencil. Aelita sits next to him, looking upset herself at his expression.

"So class, if believe that you may know who has broken into Jeremie's room, please report any information you have to the principal at once. This is a serious matter and should not be taken lightly," the teacher drones on. I can't quite pay attention to everything she's been saying. I'm too busy grinning to myself here in the back of the room.

The bell rings and we continue on to our next classes. The day goes by fairly well, although nothing has seemingly changed. But it has. Jeremie's cynical mood has affected Aelita and now they aren't talking. They're just mulling around their daily school routines, but they hardly look like that perfect couple they were before when everything was so damn happy.

This is it. This is the final product of my mass project to rid Aelita and myself from that bastard Jeremie. There he is now, sitting down on the bench in the empty schoolyard with his arms folded now that the final bell for the day has just rung. He's waiting for Aelita as she's going to the choir room to pick up her music for her singing practice later on today. I know…I watch her way too much. But I'll be there for it all soon enough.

"Hey, Jeremie," I say as I approach him, trying to hold back my dubious grin.

"What, Herb?" the blonde student replies coldly, not even looking up at me.

"I, uh, think you and I should talk…"

That got his attention. I can feel my grin shining as blatantly as the sun now as he slowly looks up to me with his fixed glare. "About what?"

"Oh, just about a lot of things that I think need to change very quickly in order for you to get what you want." I'm surprised I haven't stumbled over my words yet, but then again I think I'm speaking now with some passion that has been buried deep down within me throughout this entire situation.

His stare becomes narrower. "What are you talking about, Herb?" He stands up to glare at me, obviously irritated at my presence and tone.

I hesitate and take a step back as he folds his arms again, but I quickly regain my strength. "…Well, first, we need to make a bargain."

"A bargain, huh?" He's not amused. "And what are we bargaining?"

Before I can realize what I'm doing, my hand fishes out the disk from my pants pocket and holds it up between us. I grin again as Jeremie's eyebrows suddenly shoot upwards in shock and he drops his arms. "Where…where did you get that, Herb?" he asks, obviously startled.

My smiling almost feels permanent now. "I think you might have an idea how I came to own it."

"_Own_ it?" he snaps angrily. "What do you mean? Herb, that's _my_ disk. Give it back!"

"Finders keepers."

"But you broke into my room and _stole_ it!"

"Yes, but I also happen to know just _exactly_ what is on this little disk here." I wave it, then return it to my pocket and out of his view.

I can see the sweat forming on his brow. "L-…Lyoko…" he says quietly, stuttering at first.

"Yes, Lyoko. And X.A.N.A., and the files for Aelita's materialization, and all of those perfect-looking documents you've had to forge for her over the years. I must say, Jeremie, that you've done an amazing job with them, but maybe for college you should think of having someone other than that Odd kid write for you –his cursive is as obvious as her pink hair."  
His eyes narrow again. "What do you want, Herb?" he asks in an icy tone.

I can't help but snicker a little through my grin. I then answer firmly, "Give me Aelita,"

"_What?_"

"You heard me! Break up with Aelita so I can finally go out with her."

His features becomes as enraged as ever. "You pig," he spits back at me. "You disgusting _pig!_ Aelita isn't an object for me to _give_ to anyone! She's a living, breathing human being now, and I love her, and will never, _ever _see her forced into a relationship with someone as slimy and pathetic as you!"

I laugh at his outburst. "Sure you don't, but if you won't comply with my wishes, I'm sure all of our principals will get a kick out of reading those false documents."

Both of our attentions turn when we hear the choir room door open across the yard. Aelita appears, leaving the school building and carrying her sheet music with her. I look back to Jeremie who shoots another glare my way. "We'll see about that," he says and grabs his book bag from the bench. He starts running over to Aelita before she can meet us.

"I'll be in my room if you want to talk anymore, Jeremie!" I call to him. He glances over his shoulder to me, but keeps running until he stops close to Aelita. I can see him say something to her and how surprised her features become, but then he grabs her hand and they run off together from the schoolyard.

Just as I thought it would be…

Perfect.

* * *

Ah, I love that chapter. : ) Next one will be out soon! Please review! 


	10. Chapter 10

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko. This story was written before airing of Season 2 began.

Author's Note: I haven't been thanking you guys enough for all of your great reviews. Merci! I'm glad you like it! ; )

* * *

**Chapter 10**

My cell phone rings that night as I'm lying on my bed, thinking of all the things I'm going to do with Aelita as my girlfriend. I pick it up quickly and answer. "_Allo?_"

"Herb, it's me, Aelita," I can recognize her voice from anywhere, she doesn't need to identify herself. But she does sound tense. "Look, we need to meet right away. Please, if you're interested in talking, come meet me down at the bench near the school entrance. No one should be out there this late. We'll…we'll be alone to discuss all of this."

I'm sure she can even _hear_ me smiling in my response. "Of course we can talk, Aelita, and I would love to meet you down there. What time?"

"Um…right now…I guess," she answers nervously. "But you have to stop by Jeremie's room and slip the disk under the door. That's the only way this will be able to work."

"Sounds fair enough," I reply. "Just give him back the disk and then you'll meet me outside so we can finally be together, right?"

"…Yes. But we had better not find _any _copies!" she adds. "And if we do, I swear my friends will kill you."

I chuckle lightly. "Don't worry, Aelita, I won't do anything to jeopardize you now. Just be prompt, okay, _mon amour?_"

Her voice quivers, "I'll…I'll hurry. Good-bye," and she hangs up quickly.

Of course she has my number; after Ulrich conned it out of Sissi back in Junior High, him and that Odd kid had a blast prank calling me for a while. I was about to change it, but they stopped and haven't called since. Jeremie must have gotten it from them, but was too mad to talk to me himself. But that's okay…I wanted to hear my angel anyway.

It's still warm out tonight, so I disregard my jacket and grab the disk from my desk instead, hiding it in my pocket before I leave, closing and locking my door behind me. I take my time strolling through the halls, whistling and ignoring all the looks I get from the other students. They won't look at me that way when I have the prettiest girl in the entire school on my arm…

I get to Jeremie's door and automatically notice that the lock has been changed. Probably by the school, since they have so much insurance to cover those little details. I take a look at the disk as I stand before the room, then stoop down and slip in under, taking my leave as soon as I see it pulled in from the other side. Now it won't be long before I have Aelita in my arms.

All right, so I _did_ sound like Sissi just then, but I don't care anymore. If this is how I have to get my angel, then this is how it has to be. I leave the building and arrive at the bench, sitting down and looking up at the night sky accented by hundreds of tiny sparkling stars and a full moon so bright I don't know why they even need the sidewalk lamps on. So I'm waiting now, but I see no Aelita.

Finally I spot her walking out of the dorm building almost ten minutes later. It's okay, I won't scold her for being late. But she looks kind of sad walking with her head down like that. I shrug it off as she approaches. "Hi," I tell her.

"…Hello…" She isn't looking at me.

"Please, sit down. There's plenty of room for the both of us."

She's silent as she sits down as far away from me as possible.

"Did you see that I gave him the disk?"

She nods.

"Now I'm not that devious liar anymore that you always thought me to be, huh?"

She shakes her head, still looking at the ground as she bites her lower lip.

"Are you going to speak to me? You wanted to come down here and talk, after all."

It takes her a few moments to respond, and when she does, she seems a little choked up, "Herb…I…I can't go through with this..."

"You what?" I sit up from lounging on the bench and look directly at her. "Aelita, what are you saying? Jeremie and I had a deal."

"I know, but…" She finally looks at me now. "But I _love_ him! He means _everything _to me! You know about Lyoko, so you understand now that I wasn't born here on Earth. I was materialized from a virtual form…and yet Jeremie always treated me with so much kindness and respect. He talked to me like a _person_, not a program! And when he told me that he loved me and never wanted me to leave his side when he found the anti-virus those couple years ago, I…I just couldn't help but to promise that I never would."

"Aelita, _I'll _treat you with that same kindness and respect. _I_ love you!" I tell her, not realizing how loud I've become.

"It's…it's not the same, Herb," she replies solemnly as she stands up. "It's just not the same." She turns her back to me to leave. "Now, if we're finished, Jeremie is waiting for me."

I grit my teeth and stand up also. "Don't do this Aelita. You don't want me to turn you all in."

She turns to face me again. "With what evidence? You already _gave_ us the disk."

I open my mouth to reply, but I didn't have anything to say. Well, she was right. I didn't even make copies, either. I was relying on this damn plan to _work_. "Aelita, if you go…" I manage to say through a shaky voice as my anger builds inside of me.

"What?" she asks, folding her arms.

"If you go…"

She looks me up and down with a disgusted expression and, for the first time ever, I can't see her as an angel. She's not perfect to me anymore. In fact, standing there under the moon and the lights with her fashionable, light colored clothes and her snotty sneer, she looks like one of those damn preps. "…You will regret this."

She turns her nose up at me and leaves without another word. So that was it. She's made her decision. And she _will_ feel my wrath for this. I had her in my arms, then she decided to jump out of them and go, but soon I will have her in my grip, and then she will have no chance to escape anymore.

She's just about to open the dorm building door when I'm suddenly punched in the stomach by someone reaching from around my left arm. I immediately grab my torso and lurch over in pain, nearly falling to my knees, and I can't look up to see who's there. But the voices soon do that for me.

"What were you fucking thinking, asshole?" it sneers at me. As easy as it is to recognize his handwriting, his voice is even more apparent. It's the Odd kid, yet I've never heard him swear like that before. "Huh? What the fuck were you thinking?"

Another person kicks me from the other side. Without looking, since I'm on the ground now, I just assume that's Ulrich. "What made you think we were going to let her come out here alone with a sick fucker like you?" And I'm right! I guess Ulrich swears when he's pissed off, too. One of them hits me again.

"We had better not see you around her ever again," Odd growls at me. "You know, Herb, we're normally really nice guys, but when you try something as stupid as going after a girl that you know we love and have protected from the beginning, you deserve to have some sense knocked into you."

I get kicked again and I can hear them walking away, Ulrich cursing me in a venomous tone as they go.

Here I lay alone on the cement, hoping nothing is broken as I wonder just where perfection had abandoned me. Now no one else is here with me but the watchful eyes of the moon and the stars above.

* * *

Aw, another favorite. Only three left! Please review (you guys are the best at it!): ) 


	11. Chapter 11

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko. This story was written before airing of Season 2 began.

Author's Note: Sorry this is so short; next chapter will hopefully be up for the weekend, maybe on Friday. : )

* * *

**Chapter 11**

It took a good story, but I convinced the school nurse that I had fallen down the stairs at the library to receive all of my injuries. I guess I was lucky that I wasn't too horribly beaten; my stomach hurt like hell the next day, but the only marks I had were across my back and on my right hip and leg. It was hard to walk a little bit at first, but now I'm getting to class just fine without any staring.

Aelita won't even look at me. Fine. I don't want to see that bitch either. She can have her bastard boyfriend, see if I care. As far as I'm concerned, she's as well off as that bimbo Sissi. Odd and Ulrich now burst into laughter, Yumi included, whenever I walk past them in the halls now, but I don't care about them, either.

I told her. She's going to pay. They all will.

It's been days since my incident with Aelita and her gang. I started another notebook after tearing up and throwing away the one with her name in it. I still write poems, though, but they're kind of dark. I don't really want to repeat any of them right now…

My daily life has become really weird. Usually kids have school, then something they go home to, like a sport or hobby, or a girlfriend or boyfriend, but not me. Not anymore. I used to have Aelita, but now I don't even want to think of her. But I can't help it.

Now all I have is just school. I wake up, go to class, then I come back to my dorm and sleep or write. I know it isn't healthy, so of course my mind wanders every now and then back to her…but my thoughts aren't as nice anymore.

I think a lot lately of all of them. Of Aelita, Ulrich, Yumi, that Odd kid, and especially Jeremie. I try to remember everything I had read about their 'Lyoko' world and wish I had learned more.

It seems like Jeremie was never in any danger. Really, when I think about it, none of the logs were of _him_ facing the X.A.N.A. virus, or of _him_ going into towers, or whatever those things were called. It was just him at his computer, typing away as his friends and 'supposed' true love were fighting for the world.

But, when I ponder some more, that does seem like him. I mean, where was he that night back when Aelita blew me off and Odd and Ulrich beat the hell out of me? Do you mean to tell me that he was just sitting up there, waiting for her to come running back to him while he sent their friends out to finish me off so he can have her privately in his room without anyone to snitch or interrupt?

And of course he had 'a want to materialize her along with the need to.' It makes me sick to think of her lying on his bed again, him taking her right there, with her not knowing anything better than the pleasure and his lies that he loves her. Any guy would want a fuck bunny.

But that's just like him. That's _just _like him! Sit back and let everything work out for you. Sure, Your Highness, let me get that on a silver platter for you.

I'm sick of it. I'm just so damn sick of _him_. So I've made up my mind for the last time. He has been the little master in command behind his friends, but now they will all see what happens when he's taken out of the picture.

* * *

Ugh, sorry again for the shortness. Two chapters left! Please drop a review if you have a chance: ) 


	12. Chapter 12

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko. This story was written before airing of Season 2 began.

Author's Note: Hey guys, hope this makes it up by Friday like I promised. I'm glad you've liked it so far. : ) As for the ending…it's near, that's all I'll say for now. On with chapter 12!

One last note: This is the chapter that mainly earned this story an "M" rating (it would have been "R" at one point had I began posting a little earlier before ratings changes). That means mature readers only, please. Thank you.

* * *

**Chapter 12**

So this is it. The real end.

"Do you guys want to go to the library and put the finishing touches on our report for the Science Olympiad?" I overhear Jeremie ask his group in science class about a week later. They all agree. "Great. Aelita and I will meet you out in the schoolyard after last period. We'll probably be really early."

And you had better be.

As for myself, I haven't done much of anything for the Olympiad. Sure, I had all the drive in the world to win it alone, but now I really don't have any feeling for it. In fact, I don't really have any feeling to do _any_ of my schoolwork. It's actually been pretty hard to even wake up nowadays, even though I still go to bed early, so I try to get some sleep during class whenever possible. My mom has written me some letters, but I haven't gotten around to opening them yet. She's probably worried about my grades, but it's all right. This will all be over soon…

I was rummaging through my closet one night and found and old box of my belongings. I came across this great collectable switchblade in mint condition. I remember the story behind it; I had bought it to give to my older cousin when he was supposed to visit me back during my last year at Kadic Jr. High, but he never came. He spoke really fast on the phone and explained that he was allergic to something that sounded like 'losers,' but I'm sure that wasn't it. Anyway, I was going to send it to him for Christmas, or his birthday, but I just kept forgetting. But now I have a much better use for it.

Right after school, huh? You'll even be early? That's good. Then I'll just have to make a pit stop back at my room during lunch. It's okay, though, I don't really have an appetite to eat much, anyway. I'll be able to catch up a little more with my sleep while I'm up there, too…maybe even just sleep right through until that last bell.

There she is. And there he is. Both as early as ever. Once my angel, and her 'perfect' boyfriend. I told her she was going to pay for all of this. I just hope _he_ listened.

I woke up after my nap during lunch, so I figured I had better go to class anyway. But that's okay. I left in time to meet the bell, making sure to put my coat on before I exited the room.

Now I won't be late.

The bell has just rung for the end of the day. All of the students are leaving their classrooms and are now filling the schoolyard. Hm…this may get messy.

There are Jeremie and Aelita, coming this way to meet the rest of their group. Good. Then I won't have to move from here. They're glaring now as they notice me. Jeremie takes a hold of Aelita's arm and they quicken their pace, but just as they're nearing me, I call him out. "Hey, Jeremie."

"What?" he replies, about to walk past.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Surprisingly, they stop. Unsurprisingly, they've stopped a good ten feet away from me. "It depends."

"Oh, trust me, you want to hear this."

"Really? Because Aelita and I are, you know, _normal_ people, and we don't like to waste our time on creeps like you."

I snicker at his reply. "Of course you don't. But, and I'm sure your lovely girlfriend told you, you're going to have to pay for what you've done to me."

Now Jeremie snickers, a cocky tone to his chuckling. "Whatever," he brushes my remark off with a roll of his eyes. Aelita smiles at his comment and they continue walking as she entwines her arm with his.

"Too bad," I say, shaking my head. I look down as I can feel my hand fingering the handle of the sharp blade inside my coat. "Because this is far too overdue…"

Isn't it amazing how you can feel so strongly for something, and yet not seem to be there when it's going on? Slipping back into a dream state like during my breakdown, I can see my arm appear from beneath my coat and raise the thick knife, but I don't feel any of it happening. There are students around me who suddenly scream, and a few older male teens are running towards me from across the schoolyard when they can see what I have.

Then it's happening. I'm finally getting my revenge. I lunge at Jeremie with the weapon, but I stumble over my feet when I'm leaning in to reach him and fall to the ground, missing the blonde teen's chest and ending up sinking my knife straight into his left calf. He cries out in pain, but his voice is masked by Aelita's screams.

Oh, that horrendous screaming…I've never heard anything like it! Jeremie had pushed her away as a reflex when he caught a glimpse of what I was doing, but now you would think I had stabbed _her _instead! As Jeremie's body crumples to the ground in pain, she falls down also and gathers him in her arms.

"Jeremie!" she shouts, obviously frightened and already having begun to cry. "Jeremie, what…what just happened? What's going on? What did he do to you?"

Still holding onto my knife, I twist it out from the deep hole now in his skin and muscle as he shouts again. I look up from the dirt of the ground to see his blood start to pour out, flowing freely from the open hole. I grin, hoping that it will all drain quickly.

"Aelita…Aelita, please don't cry," is all Jeremie can choke out through his seething as his face twists with pain and the rest of his body writhes through his insurmountable discomfort.

I'm suddenly grabbed by one of the high school seniors. "What the fuck is your problem, jackass?" he booms in a loud, angry voice. I can tell that he's a big guy, probably on the wrestling team, because he's picked me up and has thrown me down onto the cement again, away from Aelita and Jeremie. I hear the police that normally patrol on the school grounds shouting next, and I look up to see students from all grades screaming and running towards the scene, teachers yelling as they hurry out of the buildings to see what has happened and to help control the crowd.

The police officers have picked me up again and dismiss the student securing me. I'm being handcuffed already, yet they've whirled me around and I now have a view of what's going on.

There's a massive crowd around Jeremie. The nurse and her aide are being escorted through it, with the principal and assistant principal yelling and parting the way for them through the group of people. I can still hear Aelita crying, but soon another distinct shout joins when I see a small group running from the direction of the soccer field. "_Jeremie!_" Yumi is screaming as she, Odd, and Ulrich are racing towards the crowd, teachers soon helping them push through to see their friend. Someone must have already ran over and told them what was going on. Wow, news travels fast…

I'm finally in the back of the police car when the ambulance arrives. The principal had ordered all of the students to go to their rooms or leave for their houses until further notice, so the schoolyard is about clear now. The teachers are helping console the others left while the medics take care of Jeremie's leg all they can before pulling out a stretcher and carrying him into the ambulance. Aelita, the principal, and the school nurse are going with him, but Yumi, Odd, and Ulrich are all forced to stay behind.

Yumi is now crying gently as Ulrich holds her, and Odd rests a hand on her shoulder. She's always been so strong, though. I've never seen _her_ cry… But then I see Odd look over to the police car and now he's glaring at me. A sudden terrified feeling washes over me and, for the first time, I notice all the blood the janitors are hurrying to try and clean up. All that red…all that pain it must have caused…

Oh my god…there's so much of it…What…What have I _done?_ The police officers have gotten into the front seat of the car after talking to some of the witnesses and the assistant principal, and the one in the driver's seat glances back at me as he starts the car. "I don't know what the hell you were thinking, son," he says to me, "but you should know that you're in _a lot_ of trouble now."

I can't reply. My mouth goes dry as I stare dumbly at the seat of the car. My hands are cuffed behind my back, so I can't wipe the tears away that are now forming in my eyes. With one last look out the window to see Odd still glaring at me, a sudden dizziness takes over and I collapse onto the seat.

* * *

I really liked this chapter; I think it's in a close tie for favorites now. : ) Last one coming soon! Please review! 


	13. Chapter 13

Ask Me What It's Like to Never Win

By: Leelei

Disclaimer: I don't own Code:Lyoko. This story was written before airing of Season 2 began.

Author's Note: Last one! Thank you all so much for all of your reviews along the way. Coming from writing this story in March, beginning to post it in April, leaving the fandom over the summer, returning to it in September, then finishing this now, I've realized what a crazy year this has been. But thank you again for sticking with this through it all, I really appreciate your time. : ) I hope you enjoy the ending!

* * *

**Chapter 13**

Every day is the worst day of my life. People generally lead content lives with only interruptions of being upset, but now I realize that I have always lived my life being upset with only few exceptions of feeling happy.

I was expelled from Kadic High three days after stabbing Jeremie. The teachers and administrators all held a meeting and called my parents in to speak with and tell them their decision. I heard my mom had burst into tears when they let her know. I guess she really wanted me to have a good education…I guess I always did, too, but oh well. I can't change that now.

I woke up in the hospital, a separate one from Jeremie I later learned. I guess that I had passed out and the police couldn't wake me when they took me downtown. But once the doctors gave the okay that I was in a stable physical condition, they finally took me to the police station. But now that that's all over, I have to live with my parents again until my court hearing.

Today is the last day that I'm ever allowed back on the premises of Kadic High. Two police officers escort me in early this morning just as the first late bell is about to ring to signal the beginning of class for the day. It feels weird being here and not actually _going _to school.

I look over to my right as I'm walking towards my old dorm building, with the officers following closely behind me, and I see Jeremie, as much as it plagues me, moving cautiously across the schoolyard on crutches and with a large cast over his wounded leg. Aelita is also walking slowly next to him, carrying his books along with her own. They're going to English, I can remember, which is where I should be right now.

I see Jeremie wince as he tries to walk with his crutches again and Aelita moves her hand to help support him. He looks to her and smiles as he stops. He takes a hold of her hand and she smiles sweetly in return. Then they kiss, ever so gently, him showing just how much he appreciates her love and care.

But now they've both returned to going to class and have just noticed me. They're glaring at me again as the officers hurry me by. It's a different glare, though, than the ones they have shown me before. Now they seem to be saying, "Look what you've done, loser. Happy now?"

I can feel the tears straining my eyes again. I won't cry, but now I realize the severity of everything that has happened. I lost the girl that I truly loved, and now I've done something _so_ wicked that I will never have a chance with her again.

At least the officers have the decency to stand outside of my room as I pack my things in the boxes the principal sent up for me. It's a painful task, but I slowly make progress after I notice the time and then look out the window to see what a beautiful day it seems to be.

When I'm nearly finished with my job, the bell rings for second period. After the late bell for it sounds, my door quietly opens and one of the police officers appears. "You have a visitor," he says, pushing the door back all the way. "Just make sure you leave this open."

My eyes widen as I see Sissi walk in. She looks nice, wearing a short white skirt and a tiny pink colored shirt. It must still be a decent day outside, but then again, she never passes on an opportunity nowadays to wear a skimpy outfit like that. "Herb?" she calls to me softly as she walks in.

I stand from where I'm packing a box of my clothes and turn to face her. "Hello," I reply, still a little in shock to see her. "Aren't you supposed to be in class now?"

"I have a study hall second period," she replies. "And I…I wanted to come say good-bye before you left. The principal didn't want me to come up here…but all I needed was a call from the superintendent to fix that." She slowly smiles and I manage to smirk. She always was a daddy's girl.

"Well…thanks for coming," I manage to say. It's so weird…this is all so weird. I never would have imagined it to end like this.

"I…" she says, looking down to her high-heeled sandals. "I, uh…couldn't just let you leave like this."

For a second, I think I see a shred of sympathy showing through her. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know…we hung out for all that time back in junior high," she answers. "You, uh…were really a big part of my life then."

I want to smile, but in my current state, I can't think of an even halfway fitting response. "Yeah, but not anymore, I guess."

"Hey," she speaks up again, now a little perturbed at my cold response. "I know that times are different now, but that doesn't change the fact that I once couldn't go a day without you following me around."

"Yes," I reply. "Once."

"Look, I came by here to do _you_ a favor." She puts her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes at me, looking and sounding just like she did in those said times.

"Really? Well thanks a lot," I say frigidly, not being able to help my reaction as I kick my box aside, pulling another off the bed. "I have to finish this packing," I mumble.

But then her features soften, I can see before I return my attention back to the chore. It's a good solid few minutes later until she speaks again, this time more quiet than ever. "Herb…why did you do it?" I look back to her, expecting to see that ignorant, rude look on her face, but instead she has an expression of pure innocence, matching her light tone. "Why?"

I want to hug her. I want to hold her in my arms, like I yearned to so long ago, but I also want to scream at her until she goes away. I don't know…I guess my feelings are just so mixed up right now, I can't come up with a normal reaction for her. "Draw your own conclusions, Sissi," I say in a harsher tone than she deserves.

But then, like I've fallen into some kind of dream world again, I lose all feeling and just can't hold my emotions in anymore. In a rage, I drop my attitude and it all spills out for once. "I…I just couldn't _take it_ anymore! I wanted her, Sissi, but…but she has _Jeremie!_ That fucking bastard," my voice is bubbling with anger, "All he wants her for are his grades and to have in his bed." Sissi's eyes bulge slightly at this statement. "And I…I just…I just needed to have her for _myself!_"

Sissi tilts her head slightly, her eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. It's another few moments before she responds again. "Do…do you _love_ Aelita?"

I can't reply right away. I'm just too choked up to respond after all of that. She continues in such a normal tone that's almost comforting to all of my anger and pain, "Herb, I have no idea what you're talking about. I mean, yeah, Aelita's been Jeremie's girlfriend for like, what? Forever? But they've never slept together, if that's what you're ruining your life over."

I can feel my facial features let go of their unbelievable tightness. "They…they _haven't?_"

"No," she states simply. "Aelita is a virgin."

"How do you know?" My expression goes right back to hardening again.

Sissi sighs from annoyance as she rolls her eyes and folds her arms, all seemingly at what she implies, "I know because she's in my health class and the teacher practically bows down to her every time she walks in the room." Then she starts to use a mocking tone in her voice. "He's just so damn proud to hear that she's still 'pure' in today's corrupt world. Then he gives her all this extra credit to read her boring ass chastity and abstinence speeches in front of the class."

I can feel the wonder flooding through me. I should be happy at hearing that Jeremie hasn't ruined my angel yet, but the knowledge feels as if it's a sweet poison surging into my heart. I suddenly feel so confused. Aelita isn't my angel anymore, but am I supposed to be relieved to know that all of those things I thought she and Jeremie did _didn't_ happen? Even after everything she did to _me?_ …Or, after everything I did to _her_…

My mind diverts back to what Sissi was saying. Well, if she really _is_ a virgin, then what the hell _was_ she doing that night with Jeremie in his room? "And how do you know that isn't all just a lie?" I ask.

Sissi folds her arms and rolls her eyes again. "Herb, does that little priss _ever_ lie?"

Sure she does. I can tell you a pretty good story right now, Sissi. But I don't. She won't believe me. I have no damn evidence anyway… I lose the will to continue the conversation -to even _look_ at her- so I turn back to continue my packing. Learning all of that just then was…well, it was a lot of information to take in at once.

There's another long pause before Sissi speaks up. But, she's innocent once again. I realize now that, aside from my questions and statements that brought about her catty remarks, she really is here for another reason. "Herb…" she calls my name quietly, sounding almost as if her tone is sad and seems to be begging. "Please, tell me. Do you love Aelita?"

I stand up from where I was stooping down to tuck away a shirt in my last box. I try not to look at Sissi, knowing that her blameless countenance might break my heart again. "…I did."

Now I know that if this was the end of our conversation, I actually _do _wantto see her one last time. Turning to face her, I stand feeling guilty, feeling ashamed, but then feeling loved. She cared enough to come here to speak to me, without her clique, without her frivolity, without her slyness, her stupidity, or her selfish greed. She came to me…as a friend.

Through the opened window in the room I can hear a small moving truck pull up to the building. I have to leave and to leave all of this behind. Looking back to Sissi after forcing myself to check my watch, I gaze at her features one last time.

"I'm sorry things didn't work out for you," she says softly. I swear I can see the glimmer of a tear in her eye.

"So am I," is my response as I pick up a closed box from the floor and walk past her to the doorway. "So am I…"

**The End**

* * *

Don't worry, you haven't seen the last of me. ;D I hope to have some new stories posted soon, and I'd love it if you guys would check them out. Thank you again, and I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving break! 


End file.
